Eight Year Olds Are My New “Go To” People

By Sandra Miskie 

(aka: Grandma Geezer Ph.D)

I had this naïve thought that when I finished my graduate programs I would know all I needed to know. 

What I really I found out was...
... Just how much more I needed to know! 

Last night was another slap of reality of just how much I need to know in order to function in this world. It was a real eye opener.  An eight year old taught me how to get to Stream Picks, a movie program I paid for but have never used because I didn’t know how to access it. 

SO WONDERFUL AND SMART!

 It was an eight-year-old that taught me about programming phone numbers into my new phone. Now all I have to do is type their name and their number pops up in a flash. I don’t even have to strain my brain. I LOVE IT!!!

Eight year olds are fascinating! 

They are "in your face" honest. They see things so clearly. Now I know that can be annoying to those around them all day but to me they are intriguing because they make no interpretations, but see things straight on - it’s hard to fool them. It is what it is!

Eight year olds like to follow rules. 

Remember the little girl who wrote about being at the airport who was reminding her parents to look both ways before crossing? She was eight.  

My grandson who is now eight popped up and said “Grandma we need you at our school.” “ Is that so, why this time?” “ Jonathan needs some discipline because he’s a yackity yack and I can’t get anything done with him in my ear all the time! The teacher is so done with him!” Needless to say I was rolling on the floor in gales of laughter, but he just stared at me with a serious look. This was a big concern and it needed to be dealt with.

When I asked an eight year old about his parents in a counseling session and what he thought should be done he said, “ If they held hands more maybe they would start to like each other again.”    

Another little girl gave this sage advice on her parent’s marital situation, “They shouldn’t share a bathroom, cause mommy’s things get in the way of daddy’s things. They don’t play well with each other.” 

Another little girl stated that her parents  “…Should pick new friends because they always get in fights with each other. That’s what my teacher tells us if we fight on the playground.”

I remember my own children at that age...

.. Reminding me of the errors of my ways. My oldest reminded me that if I paid attention to my cooking it might taste better. I constantly dropped eggshells in their eggs – I tried to tell them I made special eggs but they weren’t fooled. I wasn’t the greatest cook back then but I have improved greatly. 

My daughter one day told me that I was too easy on the boys and they needed to stay in the corner until dinner and only have one hour of television. The two of them had gotten into some mischief and she wasn’t about to let them get away with it. One day I screamed at my youngest son, “You are driving me up the wall!” He didn’t want to get in trouble so he said, “ Well, if you sat on me then I wouldn’t be able to do that!”

 Eight year olds can "veeeery" compassionate!

My grandson seeing his mother in tears and worried put his hand on her head and said, “Don’t worry mom we have beans!” She was tired and didn’t know what to fix for dinner. 

My daughter came in to read me a bedtime story and tuck me in one evening when I was sick. She said, “You need to take care of yourself mom because we’re going to the movies tomorrow!” 

In a classroom full of eight year olds a very beloved teacher told me about a boy who was being disrespectful to her and how a little girl ran out of the room to go get the principal. From all accounts the little girl was so upset the principal thought the teacher was in grave danger.

Trust me on this! 

Everyone should have an eight year old on their radar to keep their behavior in line, help them with electronic gadgets, keep them up to date on the latest things that matter in the world, to keep things in perspective and most of all to keep you laughing out loud!

Your Ever Learning Pal,

Grandma Geezer Ph.D

ARE YOU A VICTIM OR PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT?

By Sandra Miskie

Aka: "Grandma Geezer Ph.D"

Could it be  "Dave" the founder Wendy’s...
... Or the Superman Actor Christopher Reeve ?  

These two along with many others have fought through devastating circumstances, are products of their environment because they have given back to society. Their history did not cripple them but gave them a strong resolve to go forward and make things better not only for themselves but for others. They could have easily given up and no one would have blamed them but that was not an option. 

Too often we are bombarded with the failures in our society who are labeled victims. 

Those icons who had talent beyond measure and came from very poor backgrounds who ended up in morgues with their devastating secrets revealed, these  are victims according to the press and others. They added little to society but got a lot of attention and fame along with the big bucks. They chose to give up and ultimately lost their lives. 

What is the fine line that separates these two groups?
It’s the people who surrounded them. 

You can be supported or enabled. 

A supported person will get wisdom and correction from those around them and will savor it – ultimately making ongoing corrective actions the key in their lifestyle. The enabled person will have “Yes Men” around them who will agree to their demands and do nothing to correct their behavior beyond telling them they could try to change a few things. 

We all have people in our lives who will agree with us no matter how wrong we might be, 

Especially if we can manipulate their thinking to our belief in the facts. There are also those who know only how to criticize our actions – I avoid them. The third group is someone who will evaluate all situations, give wisdom into the situation not advice and ultimately show us a corrective path. Although the first group feeds our ego they often don’t have the right direction for the solution to our problem. 

I have to say, Trust me on this! 

The peace I gain from the third group, is phenomenal. My pride has been crushed, my ego in disrepair, my confidence wobbly and my need for repentance is overwhelming but ultimately I know deep down in my soul I am responsible for my behavior in all circumstances. I know my third group of people are the ones who truly care how I finish out my life. I can go forward in the confidence that I will not become a victim. I will become a stronger, wiser individual who will lead others into creating monumental lives and ultimately change things for the better.  

So! Go ahead and bravely ask yourself these questions!

Are the circumstances in which you came from crippling you or making you stronger? 

Are you taking charge of your life or are others running it for you? 

Are you dependent on others or independent in taking care of your daily needs? 

These three questions will decide whether you are a victim or product of your environment.

Remember a product gets better and better as it matures. 

Product or victim it’s all up to you.

Telling it like it is,
Grandma Geezer Ph.D.

Technological Nonsense: From an Old Geezer's View

 by Sandra E.D. Miskie

It occurred to me the other day that ...

...  I don’t fit in to this world. 

Transitions are fast, furious and expensive – everything changes in a blink of an eye and you have to add new gadgets all the time to the items you just bought to keep up.  I’ve heard this from many people my age but it never got into my heart – it was recorded in my head but I was disconnected from the real meaning. I remember Andy Rooney and his Sunday night rants about this world and agreeing with him but then again I was disconnected from the real meaning. My parents have gone on and on for a few years about how complicated the world has become but again I was disconnected from the meaning of their emotions.  I guess I have just been able to maneuver around the world without it affecting me but now it’s a reality and I am not connected.

I don’t fit into this world!
When the reality  hit me it was  a freight train and I went reeling into an emotional spin.  I called my children. My children have always been a good source of what is important – they keep me balanced and informed. We talked about technology, my years of education and experience, my love for psychology and helping people,  my overriding fear of not being able to keep up and the absolute rudeness of the younger generation if you can’t twitter/facebook/scan/digitize info/powerpoint or use technology as quickly as they can. They speak above your head with technical jargon but can’t write a complete sentence in its correct syntax  or spell correctly– I know this because I’ve read papers from seniors in college as an adjunct professor. In the end I find sanity in my children who understand the old geezer and are very patient.

Let me give you a look into the perfect day for an old geezer...
... that didn’t turn out so well. 
The whole day started out innocently enough with my schedule in hand I headed out the door. This was going to be a great day because I had planned ahead! My licensure was to expire in two months so I was going to take all my essential training materials down to the office that looks over your paperwork. If I needed to take another few hours for my license I had plenty of time to do that before it expired. I was proud of myself to say the least because I’m a closet procrastinator. Keep in mind that my license comes due every five years and I’ve been doing this same routine since 1986. But today I would discover that  my existence in this world demands that I step into the world of technology or become a non-entity. The world will have little patience with an old grandma type who has expertly  dodged having to keep up with the younger generation.

I had to park a block and half away because of street sweeping around the building that day – 86 degrees in the shade and it was only 9:00a.m.. I went into the office of Education and was immediately told, “You will have to scan your information on line, digitize your photo and scan that, fill out the application on line, download/upload information asked for and if you have trouble call us. We no longer take paper applications.” I had all the paperwork except the application in hand, so the young lady very reluctantly took it and made copies, telling me to do the rest of the application on line. I walked away with my mind going into a spin. Scan? I don’t have a scanner. Digitize? Why didn’t she just take a picture of my driver’s license at the counter and add it to the paper copies she made of my certificates? Download/upload and send? I’ve done that a few times. But doesn’t that information have to be in your computer to do that? Wouldn’t I have to scan the information to put it in my computer in the first place before doing this step?

Alright, I will do my best I thought... ...To keep calm and do the process which the young lady gave me, even though she was speaking so fast I could barely keep up or hear, let alone interpret all the tech jargon she used.  I went home picked up a large Diet Coke and a hot fudge sundae from McDonalds, my staple for emotional overload days and proceeded to the upstairs office in my townhome. Ok, get over the anger of having to do this, play a game of Vegas Solitare ( oooo I won $300), call my parents to make sure they didn’t need me at that moment and a short text to a friend (my 12 year old grandson taught me how to do this).

Ok…on to the website, EASY....

…On to the login setup, EASY… on to hmmmm these sites all look the same which is the one for …grrrr…grrrrrrrr…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….ok, this is the eighth one we only have four left to go…FINALLY!!!!!!! Ok…why is this changing back to the log in page…yeeeeeesh…if this doesn’t work…ok, third times a charm…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK…ok, breathe in, breath out, you’re doing something wrong…one step at a time hit the site look at the page…oh, my gosh the left side of the page changed … I’ll hit the site for me on the left side of the page instead of the top…I’M IN!!!!!!...this looks easy…going good I’m halfway through …what’s this?????...I have to download all my certificates…I’ll write in that they have them…ok…3/4’s of the way through and we’ve only been on sixty two minutes…not bad for stan old geezer…

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT???? … TIMED OUT???

I HAVEN’T EVEN STOPPED FOR A SECOND , I’M STILL WORKING ON IT…IT’S GONE…THE WHOLE THING IS GONE…I’m feeling the anger and tears start to flood out…let me see something…the bottom of the page stores minimized documents maybe it’s there (my son taught me that)…I can hear my daughter’s voice (Mom .. stay calm…I love you)…press the bottom page…one fourth of the application is still there…so I start again but this time with all the information I need so I don’t have to Google addresses and phone numbers ) another thing my kids taught me …ok done in half the time…but I don’t see anything anywhere to continue…THE PAGE IS …THE PAGE IS BLANK…IT’S GONE AGAIN…try my previous trick …nothing.

I’M MAKING A PHONE CALL!!!!!!!!

“You have called the Colorado Department of Education…(If I have to push one more button after this third one I am done!!!!!)...You have reached our call section…the wait is over an hour. If you wish to hold press one…(45 minutes later)…Hello my name is ____(to spare the person embarrassment I will withhold their name)…How may I help you…(I go through the above scenario)…You have to scan in your documents or the program will not complete…(I gave you all my documents)…It doesn’t matter they have to be scanned as well and your drivers license will have to be scanned  and all this needs to be downloaded and sent…(explain that I have no scanner in which to do this)…You will have to go to KINKO’s where they can do this for you and email it to you and then you can send it to us… (Could you say that again slowly)…It will take up to twenty weeks to get a response to your application…(What! My license runs out in two months!) You should have done it in February…(What do I do if I don’t have a license, it’s never taken this much time before and where in your information did it tell us to do it that early?) I’m sorry I’ve taken too much time explaining this to you …You will just have to follow the instructions on the application…I have to go now…(I told you I keep losing the application)… I have to go now.”

SHE HUNG UP ON ME…the tears start to flow like a broken dam.

I know why the tears came and it wasn’t out of frustration. 

The tears came because I felt devalued and  finally realized I can’t keep up and I am in total  disgust at the rude impatient behavior given to anyone my age who is befuddled by this techno generation. I wonder if this is how they treat their grandparents or parents. I began to realize that wisdom, knowledge and age have no precedence over technological savvy. These kids who have two to four years of college, if that, are treating me like I’m a degenerate and give me no respect because I don’t speak their language.

I grew up in a generation with no television.

When we did have one we actually had to walk over to the box to turn the channel and it came with tubes in the back that we changed. Our phones were not push button but had a dial and we had to share a line with other families. I carried a typewriter in a little case with me to graduate school, did my calculations for the two sets of doctorate classes I took (School Psychology and Human Services) by typing them out on cards which made little holes, then you wrapped 800 cards in rubber bands to take them to the computer room and gave them to the person behind the counter. Calculators? They had just come out with those and in my Masters program I actually was given one that was solar and cost $110 on the market. In my day cool was having an electric typewriter with little balls that changed the font when you exchanged one ball for another in a small case – you could order at least twelve in a case! Oh, and when they came out with eraser tape that actually installed in the typewriter next to the ribbon…well, all I could say was, 

“HEAVEN! I’M IN HEAVEN!”

I’ve taken computer classes but....

...I can’t wrap my mind around the concepts. 

I can do simple things like cut and paste ( I took my kids out for ice cream and their families on that day…it was a celebration)…I remember the kids saying “That’s good mom!”, and patting me on the head, they think I’m a genius ! Then I actually learned to upload a document and send it as an attachment! The paperclip is a cute icon. I can change the font by highlighting, I can change the color of the document, I can change the margins, I can change the spaces, WORD is my friend. Just the other day I realized I could change a whole document into capitals by highlighting and hitting one key…wooowoooo! On occasion and believe me it is a rare occurrence, I run into someone on my volunteer job that asks me to do something and they think I’m a whiz. I wonder how long I can keep them convinced of that!

Here is the closing thought...

 …Because I could go on for days about this subject. I want all of the young people who don’t understand our lack of techno savvy and don’t have the patience to help us through the maze to know this…One day you will age and technological advances will surpass your current knowledge and where will you be. I just want courtesy. Don’t slough me off as some ditz because I don’t understand your technological terms or items you use. We were the computers you now use in your hand, we did calculations in our heads and on paper without machines…we were the dictionaries you look up in your phones…we were the information you so quickly look up in Google, which by the way is sometimes wrong especially in directions...to name a few things.  We were respectful of others knowledge. I surround myself with techno smarties like my children, staff like Cheryl, Joshua and others to help me through the maze. I treat them with respect for the savvy they have in technological prowess and they never make me feel like a lesser person. Work with us and we will try to work with you but don’t bully us or disrespect our knowledge because we can’t put it in a power point for you to see…assist us in the process. It will be a better world for us all if we engage in cooperative ventures. 

.....Trust me on this!

Yours ever so truly,

G.G Ph.D

Grandma Geezer’s Introduction (WHO AM I?)

To Blog or not to Blog? 

That is the question. 

Should I listen to my children and a lifetime friend who encourages me to Blog, or should I completely ignore their requests and enjoy retirement…[I can hear my children saying “Get on with it mom!”]. I’ve decided to give it a try. After all there are a lot of retired people who have gone on to second careers and made a go of it! Why not me? What have I got to lose except a few moments spent in playing Solitaire, Free Cell or Hearts.

I have to admit two things. 

I get excited when my children and their spouses who range in age from 30 to 42, support the idea of writing at my age and actually give positive comments about what I’ve written. Maybe I should give the populace at large the benefit of my experiences so that they never have to make the same errors in judgment that I did growing up. Maybe, just maybe my grandchildren will pick up on this as well. The other admittance is I have no idea what a Blog is, so my younger friend, who is an Apple geek and designed the Web Page, will be helping me. I hope she still remains my friend after this!

Have you ever wished you had “Do Overs”? 

I can’t tell you the number of “Do Overs” I wish I had. Would they have made a difference? Possibly, in most cases yes. In the few others it wouldn’t have but I could have saved myself a lot of anxiety, anger, moodiness and downright rudeness to others, if I’d just done what two of my friends do…wait hours or days before responding to situations that cause negative feelings. If something gets me going I just jump in…poor thinking process.

Have you ever walked blindly into a bus?

Sometimes other people will shove you. If you aren’t watching and examining the company you keep the bus will hit you more than once.  I’ve been thrown under the bus by others and it’s not pleasant but it only happens once with an individual and I’m out of there. However, had I prepared myself in advance for this person’s obvious behavior pattern I could have avoided the situation entirely.

Have you ever tried so hard to like someone it encompassed your whole being? 

That is an exhausting process to go through. You’ll find yourself in pieces scattered all over the place and wonder if you’ll ever feel whole again. Been there and done that! Better to walk away with at least most of your parts than stay. The parts grow back eventually but not without regret and sometimes bitterness remains so deep it will take major construction equipment to remove it.

Have you ever had major episodes of disappointment? 

You’ve tried to make good decisions and for whatever reasons they never come to fruition. You try to save money but unexpected events are always happening to drain the piggy bank. You take good care of your health, eat right, exercise and you end up with a terminal diagnosis. You work on a job for years and in the roughest part of the economy you lose it and the benefits. People you’ve known for years and that you’ve supported, all of a sudden turn on you because of a misunderstanding that could be settled by talking it out…but they will have no part of it.

Have you ever been rumored about...

...Where others believe another side of a story and never ask your part of the details?

Does your past impact every part of your life and the mistakes you make? 

How, you ask yourself can I change what I am? Maybe you’ve noticed behavior in a close friend that you’ve ignored because you care for them and it doesn’t have a negative impact on you…however it does impact aspects of their life over and over again. Do you want to say something but can’t seem to find an appropriate time to approach the subject?

Well, my friends that is why I’m writing the Blog,

Because I want to help guide others to a point where the chaos is reduced, emotions are balanced, rhetoric is traded for truth and you find a truly peaceful balance in life. Will it happen overnight? No! But often times in knowing others have made it through the above mentioned circumstances, is enough to motivate you to seek life changing decisions. Look for wisdom in changing your circumstances not just knowledge…wisdom brings with it years of experience where knowledge is found in many books but often times has no real understanding of your experience. 

To walk in another’s shoes is the key …..Trust me on this.

G.G. Ph.D