“There’s an Elephant in the Room”

Have you ever been in a situation where everyone knows what’s going on but no one says a word. These situations make me crazeeeeeeee!!!!! 

However, unlike the little guy who shouted out, “The king isn’t wearing any clothes!” and TRUST ME ON THIS, sometimes it is just better to keep quiet. 

I know not everyone will agree with me on this, 

But it is necessary if you are new to a situation.

Often times someone is allowed to carry on their behavior with the understanding that it is tolerable because of who they are. I am in a weekly situation that many people find offensive but to bring it to the person’s attention will not change it and might bring about a major emotional crisis that could be devastating. The person is in their 80’s, has been a volunteer for many years and has a home bound spouse that he takes care of. This is his only outlet to serve in an important capacity outside the home and so his behavior is endured by the staff – we work around it.

I would agree in other situations where someone’s behavior has a major impact on the environment, then, to keep quiet might not be in the interest of all concerned. But and I say this with a big “CAUTION” for your own good. Search out the reasons for everyone’s lack of movement in the circumstance before commenting on it. I remember being in another situation where an administrator’s caustic behavior was being tolerated and I recall thinking, why would anyone put up with this bully. I was new on the job, just a few weeks. I wasn’t privy to the fact that he had recently been under treatment for a brain tumor and the radiation along with chemotherapy had radically changed his behavior.

I’m just saying weigh the situation and its consequences carefully before stating an opinion on the circumstances. You have not walked a mile in another person’s moccasins and until you do don’t make emotionally charged decisions to alter a situation without the facts. The tongue is a mighty weapon and in the hands of the wrong information it can change your circumstances for the worst in many instances.

By Sandra Miskie - Better known as Grandma Geezer Ph.D

"The 'STOP' Button

By Sandra Miskie 

(aka: Grandma Geezer Ph.D)

Grandma Geezer lost it this week. 

It’s been trying working through all the little things a house fire includes. Without going into a lot of explanation I will just say this, having trusting friends around is beyond good. I have one long-time friend who is not afraid to push the stop button. I call her and I can immediately feel her finger in the middle of my chest pushing the off switch and reason abounds.

I felt I had a good grip on things as I worked through my Plan. 

 A,B,C,D,etc. and all the money issues involved in this fire event were handled. Then I got a call from the dentist with the bad news that the swelling in my mouth was actually a severe infection caused by a fractured tooth. It will cost a mere $2000 to have it removed and put in a bridge. Where was that money going to come from?

By this time I am exhausted with life. 

I go into hiding and thank goodness so does everyone else because of the two day snowstorm. But as I go into hibernation mode the issue of finances starts to rattle me and I can feel the anxiety rising. I get into panic mode because the what if’s of life start to play havoc with my thought processes.

TRUST ME ON THIS… avoid at all cost the fear/anger cycle. 

There isn’t anything that can’t be worked out. One step at a time. When I get this way I purposely call one or two people that I know can identify with my situation and not give me platitudes. My thought processes are muddled but theirs are not. Have you thought about this or that and what about the conversation we just had two days ago.

I take a deep breath. 

Gales of laughter ensue and I send her a picture the next day from my phone with a big gaping mouth to show her what the dentist completed. I sleep like a baby and the next day I wake up refreshed. I didn’t take in 5000 empty chocolate ice cream calories, I practiced for my upcoming concert, I emptied 25 more boxes and put together three pieces of furniture.

I steered clear of the fear/anger cycle and got back on track. 

Good friends, excellent advice and in actuality the crisis of $2000 was not anywhere near the catastrophe I had anticipated. It was just a matter of negotiating a payment plan with my credit union. I admit I’m tired which means my common sense is affected.

Stop, listen, plan and don’t panic. Words to the wise this month.

Ever thankful,

Grandma Geezer Ph.D

NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION

By Sandra Miskie Ph.D.

(aka Grandma Geezer)

Well, it has been three months and a few days since I've lived in my house after the fire and I am astounded at what I have learned about myself.  You never realize how inventive you can be until you have none of your stuff!

1. I am able to live without a dishwasher. Washing dishes by hand made my hands softer, it didn't take that long to finish the task and with one sink and no counter space I had to become inventive. I opened the silverware drawer took out the cutting board as a balance put a towel over it and placed the dish rack on top of that. I then wiped out the sink and placed the clean dishes in the rack, in the sink. Voila!!!

2. Cooking with one frying pan and no lid to cover splashes made me inventive.      I had a round pizza pan in which I placed a steak and covered it with an aluminum square cooking pan, stuck it in the oven and let cook for 10 minutes on each side at 350  [it took awhile to figure out the exact timing].  Voila! A perfect medium rare steak. I really missed my George Forman Grill and actually had a picture taken of me hugging it when I found it in a box two days ago! 

3. Having a small television with no cable network was a bummer. I had an antenna but it got two local stations and four other stations that were not religious or in Spanish. If I got up and turned my antenna knob a few dials I got two other local channels and three stations that were not religious or in Spanish. I had to get inventive. I went to my friends apartments or downstairs and watched television there.

4. Living in a 368 square foot apartment can get really get boring. I had to be inventive. So I started that exercise program I had been promising myself for many years. From the 12th floor I would walk to the other end of the hall, go down the stairs, walk the length of the next floor and so on until I reached the first floor. I lost six pounds all together and have a lot more energy. Who would've thought?

5. I have learned that you can push through overwhelming circumstances beyond your control with only a few tears if you have the right friends. I didn't call them all the time in my blubbering and feeling sorry for myself because for some reason they had me on their mind and called me. I reinvented my "hostess with the hostess" attitude and invited several people at different times for dinner, which I cooked on my miniature stove. Needless to say they were all quite impressed as we laughed about the circumstances and my camping out attitude.

6. Doing laundry had rules that were posted on the walls. You could use one washer and one dryer. Now I'm used to throwing in a load of laundry, leaving, coming home and sticking it in the dryer. Not allowed here because too many people have to use the facility and there are only four washers and dryers. Be inventive I told myself...doing laundry at 6:00 a.m. is not that bad because I could get my exercise in at the same time.

7. My furnished apartment had one small trashcan in the bathroom and one in the kitchen. I did not realize how I could fill those up so fast. I had to be inventive or I would be taking trash down every day. I had a porch so I took one of those Glad bags with Febreeze [incredibly awesome invention] and placed my trash outside the door.

8. Last but not least was the wardrobe fiasco! I was left with two dresses, three skirts, three blouses and one pair of boots. I had to be careful with money so I reinvented my wardrobe. I bought three pairs of shoes, two blouses and one black sweater. This actually increased my wardrobe outfits to two weeks or more of different looks!!! I was looking pretty spiffy if I must say so myself.

Trust me on this...

...You can make anything work, 

If you change the perspective.

I said this in my last article and I can't emphasize it enough. 

You will avoid crippling depression, physical breakdown and fatigue if you do this. I learned to listen to my body, knowing that depression, lack of sleep and bad eating habits could all be a part of my journey.

I paid special attention to get the sleep, allow myself a short pity party and give myself permission to rest as much as I wanted, not letting others demand things of me. I turned off my phone, took long drives, went window shopping without my wallet, ate healthy and allowed myself a dose of chocolate every day. Now I have the daunting task of unpacking boxes stacked to the ceiling five high and three rows deep. I'll follow the same pattern I just laid out for you...and this too shall be conquered!

Back in the Game - Grandma Geezer is my name!