"A Legacy to Pass On "

By Grandma Geezer Ph.D.

The following statements were designed to make us think before we act. I like them because if I follow their dictates then I can stay out of trouble and personally … I like life without a boatload of problems.

Do I follow these words of wisdom on a regular basis… at least 91% of the time!   I am trying to up my percentage but I seem to have maxed out. However, I will keep trying my best.

He who holds his tongue is wise.

I have hurt so many people by not thinking through what I say before I say it. My children are unfortunately some of the victims of my tongue. I give my opinion before I am asked. They respond quite well by saying, “I am informing you of what I’m doing out of respect but I didn’t ask for your opinion on what I’ll be doing.” Well, ok, I think to myself, you’ve stepped in it again. Now my motto is “I don’t have to live the consequences of their choices. I will be there however they turn out.” If I disagree it’s just because I don’t want them to be hurt…but they are adults and I can’t be there 24/7. The interesting side to this behavior change is that they will ask for my opinion more often. The important part of this as well, don’t forget to apologize for those unintended hurts you caused.

If I don’t like the person I become when I’m with another person or in a particular situation I will at all cost avoid those settings whenever possible.

There are times that this is a hard thing to carry out. If I walk away from a person or situation and I’m furious or deeply bothered by it, I reflect on the person I want to be. When I don’t reflect, the situation escalates into molten lava spewing out on unintended victims. However, if I measure the impact on my life, the stress, the assumed loss of control at the moment, my "pride-o-meter" and other aspects of negative thought processes, I realize the cost is not worth it. 

I like being sane! I don’t like being crazy! 

Being sane means I don’t mull over the situation, I sleep better at night, I don’t head over to McD’s for my fourth ice cream cone (They’re dipped in chocolate now!), I don’t shed buckets of tears and therefore my eyes aren’t puffy and most importantly of all I avoid hurting those I care about.

I want to leave a legacy

What do I want my children and others to say about me at my funeral? 
Will they follow my example in their lives? 
What do they think of me now?

My youngest son who is now in his mid thirties recalls me driving through a McDonalds window to return a nickel. It stuck in his mind that even keeping a nickel that doesn’t belong to you should be returned. That lesson has permeated other aspects of his life. That’s a legacy! You never know what simple little thing you do that will change the way someone will approach life and that will carry through generationally.

My grandson saw a tear running down my face one day as I paused while reading a story to four of my grandchildren. “Are you talking to God again?  He asked me. “Yes I am and I am thanking Him for giving me enough time to meet all of you.” I replied.

 I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given two months to live and the grandchildren around me hadn’t been born yet. Another legacy —  to remember his grandmother in that way just may make him a better grandparent.

(side note... I have survived a cancer diagnosis for 20 years so far!)

Trust me on this! 

The more you practice the above, the stronger you will become at living a more peaceful, sane life. Thinking ahead, watching what you say and do is the key to happiness. Wealth is not in the amount of things you have it is really measured in the peace you have in whatever chaos is surrounding you. I’m sure all of you out there will surpass the 91% that Grandma Geezer has stalled on. It just might be the hardest thing  you’ve ever worked on but well worth the effort.

Ever Attempting to be Yours Truly,
Grandma Geezer