ARE YOU A VICTIM OR PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT?

By Sandra Miskie

Aka: "Grandma Geezer Ph.D"

Could it be  "Dave" the founder Wendy’s...
... Or the Superman Actor Christopher Reeve ?  

These two along with many others have fought through devastating circumstances, are products of their environment because they have given back to society. Their history did not cripple them but gave them a strong resolve to go forward and make things better not only for themselves but for others. They could have easily given up and no one would have blamed them but that was not an option. 

Too often we are bombarded with the failures in our society who are labeled victims. 

Those icons who had talent beyond measure and came from very poor backgrounds who ended up in morgues with their devastating secrets revealed, these  are victims according to the press and others. They added little to society but got a lot of attention and fame along with the big bucks. They chose to give up and ultimately lost their lives. 

What is the fine line that separates these two groups?
It’s the people who surrounded them. 

You can be supported or enabled. 

A supported person will get wisdom and correction from those around them and will savor it – ultimately making ongoing corrective actions the key in their lifestyle. The enabled person will have “Yes Men” around them who will agree to their demands and do nothing to correct their behavior beyond telling them they could try to change a few things. 

We all have people in our lives who will agree with us no matter how wrong we might be, 

Especially if we can manipulate their thinking to our belief in the facts. There are also those who know only how to criticize our actions – I avoid them. The third group is someone who will evaluate all situations, give wisdom into the situation not advice and ultimately show us a corrective path. Although the first group feeds our ego they often don’t have the right direction for the solution to our problem. 

I have to say, Trust me on this! 

The peace I gain from the third group, is phenomenal. My pride has been crushed, my ego in disrepair, my confidence wobbly and my need for repentance is overwhelming but ultimately I know deep down in my soul I am responsible for my behavior in all circumstances. I know my third group of people are the ones who truly care how I finish out my life. I can go forward in the confidence that I will not become a victim. I will become a stronger, wiser individual who will lead others into creating monumental lives and ultimately change things for the better.  

So! Go ahead and bravely ask yourself these questions!

Are the circumstances in which you came from crippling you or making you stronger? 

Are you taking charge of your life or are others running it for you? 

Are you dependent on others or independent in taking care of your daily needs? 

These three questions will decide whether you are a victim or product of your environment.

Remember a product gets better and better as it matures. 

Product or victim it’s all up to you.

Telling it like it is,
Grandma Geezer Ph.D.

"THE MARATHON"

By Sandra Miskie 

(aka: Grandma Geezer Ph.D)

I’ve learned a lot in the past year. 

Some of it was immediate and other things took a lot of time. Sort of like touching a hot stove versus putting yourself into the same destructive life patterns.  Like cooking… some things just need blanching other things need hours. 


Some things will lose their flavor if cooked too long other things will make you sick if not cooked long enough. 

I will now stop with the metaphors... 

...And give you an example of one situation Grandma Geezer begs you to look at, so you will avoid the chaos she has encountered. 

Trust me on this! 

The following highlighted items are crucial!

DON’T PROMISE TOO MUCH!!!   

 PLAN AHEAD!!!   

PUT EVERYTHING DOWN ON A CALENDAR!!!

LEAVE ROOM FOR EMERGENCIES!!!

Don’t trust your memory. 

In the midst of a busy time make sure your calendar is never more than inches away or put it on your phone. Grandma Geezer’s phone skill’s are as high tech as her computer skills so I haven’t mastered that yet but this year I will. Twice this year I broke the habit of checking my calendar on a daily basis and believe me, especially if you’re retired that is dreadful. One day kind of floats into another and things get scheduled over each other. What I’ve learned … My energy level doesn’t reach the level it used to and chaos ensues.

“ Don’t forget brunch tomorrow!” 

Yikes, I promised a longtime friend I’d go to her pottery showing at ten in the morning. She was having brunch at her house before we left to the show. A variety of tasty treats were laid out on the table and I ate them all. I know better…but she’s such a good cook! After buying three pieces of pottery I knew I was in trouble. My stomach wasn’t feeling well and I needed a bathroom but I had to be in the mountains for a wedding of a friend’s daughter I thought was the next week. It will take me forty minutes to get there and I had two and a half hours left. No problem.

I couldn’t find the map to the church that morning...

...So I kept calling various people to guide me. No one answered my messages and I was getting nervous. Twenty minutes later, after finding a bathroom I’m back on the road. Let’s see I have two hours and ten minutes. OK! Finally I got hold of someone who gave me directions…  “See ya at one!”  ONE O”CLOCK!!! (I THOUGHT IT WAS AT TWO!) Funny how a nervous moment like that sends you back to the bathroom! I’m now back to fifty minutes because of a short restroom break.

I find the church because of excellent directions with minutes to spare and sit down on an aisle seat. What a precious wedding but I couldn’t stay for the reception because in November I was asked to play flute in a winter concert and accepted! When I found out the concert was on the wedding day four weeks later there was nothing I could do. No problem I thought I’ll have just enough time to acclimate from the mountain drive to the concert, I’ll wear the same clothes to the wedding I need for the concert and I’ll be able to keep my instrument in the car as well as the chocolate treats I made because the weather was cooperating. The drive back was over an hour and I was a little tired but I had to place the Christmas treats I promised on everyone’s music seats before the concert.

The concert is halfway over and I notice my feet are freezing because I didn’t put on my boots before leaving the car because I was in a hurry. It was hurting cold. I’m placing hand warmers in my cute little shoes to keep my toes warm and then I’m taking them out to warm my fingers because my flute is cold. I don’t care if people are wondering what I’m doing … I’m cold! They said we would be in a heated tent but unless I’m wrong heated means any temperature above 65 degrees.  I’m not looking forward to the walk back uphill,  two blocks to the car with a purse, my instrument and the bag with leftover treats.  Stiff and cold I am fortunate to get a ride on a golf cart being sent around to pick up seniors. I love being a senior! I get into my Subaru and immediately turn on the heated seats and wait until my brain unfreezes. My phone rings, “ Where do you want to meet for dinner?”.

Needless to say I didn’t follow any of the above highlighted items.  

As I look back on the day a month later I realize I shouldn’t have eaten all the brunch food, I should have gotten the directions days before, I should have kept the wedding invitation in sight, I should have kept my boots on all day instead of showing off my cute silver socks and I should have skipped the concert because there are plenty of future opportunities. The good parts of the day were there but not enjoyed. 

I’m still learning this lesson ....

"To enjoy life to the fullest - don’t cram it together in a marathon of events."

Yours Ever So Truly,

GG

Grandma Geezer’s Introduction (WHO AM I?)

To Blog or not to Blog? 

That is the question. 

Should I listen to my children and a lifetime friend who encourages me to Blog, or should I completely ignore their requests and enjoy retirement…[I can hear my children saying “Get on with it mom!”]. I’ve decided to give it a try. After all there are a lot of retired people who have gone on to second careers and made a go of it! Why not me? What have I got to lose except a few moments spent in playing Solitaire, Free Cell or Hearts.

I have to admit two things. 

I get excited when my children and their spouses who range in age from 30 to 42, support the idea of writing at my age and actually give positive comments about what I’ve written. Maybe I should give the populace at large the benefit of my experiences so that they never have to make the same errors in judgment that I did growing up. Maybe, just maybe my grandchildren will pick up on this as well. The other admittance is I have no idea what a Blog is, so my younger friend, who is an Apple geek and designed the Web Page, will be helping me. I hope she still remains my friend after this!

Have you ever wished you had “Do Overs”? 

I can’t tell you the number of “Do Overs” I wish I had. Would they have made a difference? Possibly, in most cases yes. In the few others it wouldn’t have but I could have saved myself a lot of anxiety, anger, moodiness and downright rudeness to others, if I’d just done what two of my friends do…wait hours or days before responding to situations that cause negative feelings. If something gets me going I just jump in…poor thinking process.

Have you ever walked blindly into a bus?

Sometimes other people will shove you. If you aren’t watching and examining the company you keep the bus will hit you more than once.  I’ve been thrown under the bus by others and it’s not pleasant but it only happens once with an individual and I’m out of there. However, had I prepared myself in advance for this person’s obvious behavior pattern I could have avoided the situation entirely.

Have you ever tried so hard to like someone it encompassed your whole being? 

That is an exhausting process to go through. You’ll find yourself in pieces scattered all over the place and wonder if you’ll ever feel whole again. Been there and done that! Better to walk away with at least most of your parts than stay. The parts grow back eventually but not without regret and sometimes bitterness remains so deep it will take major construction equipment to remove it.

Have you ever had major episodes of disappointment? 

You’ve tried to make good decisions and for whatever reasons they never come to fruition. You try to save money but unexpected events are always happening to drain the piggy bank. You take good care of your health, eat right, exercise and you end up with a terminal diagnosis. You work on a job for years and in the roughest part of the economy you lose it and the benefits. People you’ve known for years and that you’ve supported, all of a sudden turn on you because of a misunderstanding that could be settled by talking it out…but they will have no part of it.

Have you ever been rumored about...

...Where others believe another side of a story and never ask your part of the details?

Does your past impact every part of your life and the mistakes you make? 

How, you ask yourself can I change what I am? Maybe you’ve noticed behavior in a close friend that you’ve ignored because you care for them and it doesn’t have a negative impact on you…however it does impact aspects of their life over and over again. Do you want to say something but can’t seem to find an appropriate time to approach the subject?

Well, my friends that is why I’m writing the Blog,

Because I want to help guide others to a point where the chaos is reduced, emotions are balanced, rhetoric is traded for truth and you find a truly peaceful balance in life. Will it happen overnight? No! But often times in knowing others have made it through the above mentioned circumstances, is enough to motivate you to seek life changing decisions. Look for wisdom in changing your circumstances not just knowledge…wisdom brings with it years of experience where knowledge is found in many books but often times has no real understanding of your experience. 

To walk in another’s shoes is the key …..Trust me on this.

G.G. Ph.D