It occurred to me the other day that ...
... I don’t fit in to this world. Transitions are fast, furious and expensive – everything changes in a blink of an eye and you have to add new gadgets all the time to the items you just bought to keep up. I’ve heard this from many people my age but it never got into my heart – it was recorded in my head but I was disconnected from the real meaning. I remember Andy Rooney and his Sunday night rants about this world and agreeing with him but then again I was disconnected from the real meaning. My parents have gone on and on for a few years about how complicated the world has become but again I was disconnected from the meaning of their emotions. I guess I have just been able to maneuver around the world without it affecting me but now it’s a reality and I am not connected.
I don’t fit into this world!
When the reality hit me it was a freight train and I went reeling into an emotional spin. I called my children. My children have always been a good source of what is important – they keep me balanced and informed. We talked about technology, my years of education and experience, my love for psychology and helping people, my overriding fear of not being able to keep up and the absolute rudeness of the younger generation if you can’t twitter/facebook/scan/digitize info/powerpoint or use technology as quickly as they can. They speak above your head with technical jargon but can’t write a complete sentence in its correct syntax or spell correctly– I know this because I’ve read papers from seniors in college as an adjunct professor. In the end I find sanity in my children who understand the old geezer and are very patient.
Let me give you a look into the perfect day for an old geezer...
... that didn’t turn out so well.
The whole day started out innocently enough with my schedule in hand I headed out the door. This was going to be a great day because I had planned ahead! My licensure was to expire in two months so I was going to take all my essential training materials down to the office that looks over your paperwork. If I needed to take another few hours for my license I had plenty of time to do that before it expired. I was proud of myself to say the least because I’m a closet procrastinator. Keep in mind that my license comes due every five years and I’ve been doing this same routine since 1986. But today I would discover that my existence in this world demands that I step into the world of technology or become a non-entity. The world will have little patience with an old grandma type who has expertly dodged having to keep up with the younger generation.
I had to park a block and half away because of street sweeping around the building that day – 86 degrees in the shade and it was only 9:00a.m.. I went into the office of Education and was immediately told, “You will have to scan your information on line, digitize your photo and scan that, fill out the application on line, download/upload information asked for and if you have trouble call us. We no longer take paper applications.” I had all the paperwork except the application in hand, so the young lady very reluctantly took it and made copies, telling me to do the rest of the application on line. I walked away with my mind going into a spin. Scan? I don’t have a scanner. Digitize? Why didn’t she just take a picture of my driver’s license at the counter and add it to the paper copies she made of my certificates? Download/upload and send? I’ve done that a few times. But doesn’t that information have to be in your computer to do that? Wouldn’t I have to scan the information to put it in my computer in the first place before doing this step?
Alright, I will do my best I thought... ...To keep calm and do the process which the young lady gave me, even though she was speaking so fast I could barely keep up or hear, let alone interpret all the tech jargon she used. I went home picked up a large Diet Coke and a hot fudge sundae from McDonalds, my staple for emotional overload days and proceeded to the upstairs office in my townhome. Ok, get over the anger of having to do this, play a game of Vegas Solitare ( oooo I won $300), call my parents to make sure they didn’t need me at that moment and a short text to a friend (my 12 year old grandson taught me how to do this).
Ok…on to the website, EASY....
…On to the login setup, EASY… on to hmmmm these sites all look the same which is the one for …grrrr…grrrrrrrr…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….ok, this is the eighth one we only have four left to go…FINALLY!!!!!!! Ok…why is this changing back to the log in page…yeeeeeesh…if this doesn’t work…ok, third times a charm…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK…ok, breathe in, breath out, you’re doing something wrong…one step at a time hit the site look at the page…oh, my gosh the left side of the page changed … I’ll hit the site for me on the left side of the page instead of the top…I’M IN!!!!!!...this looks easy…going good I’m halfway through …what’s this?????...I have to download all my certificates…I’ll write in that they have them…ok…3/4’s of the way through and we’ve only been on sixty two minutes…not bad for stan old geezer…
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT???? … TIMED OUT???
I HAVEN’T EVEN STOPPED FOR A SECOND , I’M STILL WORKING ON IT…IT’S GONE…THE WHOLE THING IS GONE…I’m feeling the anger and tears start to flood out…let me see something…the bottom of the page stores minimized documents maybe it’s there (my son taught me that)…I can hear my daughter’s voice (Mom .. stay calm…I love you)…press the bottom page…one fourth of the application is still there…so I start again but this time with all the information I need so I don’t have to Google addresses and phone numbers ) another thing my kids taught me …ok done in half the time…but I don’t see anything anywhere to continue…THE PAGE IS …THE PAGE IS BLANK…IT’S GONE AGAIN…try my previous trick …nothing.
I’M MAKING A PHONE CALL!!!!!!!!
“You have called the Colorado Department of Education…(If I have to push one more button after this third one I am done!!!!!)...You have reached our call section…the wait is over an hour. If you wish to hold press one…(45 minutes later)…Hello my name is ____(to spare the person embarrassment I will withhold their name)…How may I help you…(I go through the above scenario)…You have to scan in your documents or the program will not complete…(I gave you all my documents)…It doesn’t matter they have to be scanned as well and your drivers license will have to be scanned and all this needs to be downloaded and sent…(explain that I have no scanner in which to do this)…You will have to go to KINKO’s where they can do this for you and email it to you and then you can send it to us… (Could you say that again slowly)…It will take up to twenty weeks to get a response to your application…(What! My license runs out in two months!) You should have done it in February…(What do I do if I don’t have a license, it’s never taken this much time before and where in your information did it tell us to do it that early?) I’m sorry I’ve taken too much time explaining this to you …You will just have to follow the instructions on the application…I have to go now…(I told you I keep losing the application)… I have to go now.”
SHE HUNG UP ON ME…the tears start to flow like a broken dam.
I know why the tears came and it wasn’t out of frustration.
The tears came because I felt devalued and finally realized I can’t keep up and I am in total disgust at the rude impatient behavior given to anyone my age who is befuddled by this techno generation. I wonder if this is how they treat their grandparents or parents. I began to realize that wisdom, knowledge and age have no precedence over technological savvy. These kids who have two to four years of college, if that, are treating me like I’m a degenerate and give me no respect because I don’t speak their language.
I grew up in a generation with no television.
When we did have one we actually had to walk over to the box to turn the channel and it came with tubes in the back that we changed. Our phones were not push button but had a dial and we had to share a line with other families. I carried a typewriter in a little case with me to graduate school, did my calculations for the two sets of doctorate classes I took (School Psychology and Human Services) by typing them out on cards which made little holes, then you wrapped 800 cards in rubber bands to take them to the computer room and gave them to the person behind the counter. Calculators? They had just come out with those and in my Masters program I actually was given one that was solar and cost $110 on the market. In my day cool was having an electric typewriter with little balls that changed the font when you exchanged one ball for another in a small case – you could order at least twelve in a case! Oh, and when they came out with eraser tape that actually installed in the typewriter next to the ribbon…well, all I could say was,
“HEAVEN! I’M IN HEAVEN!”
I’ve taken computer classes but....
...I can’t wrap my mind around the concepts.
I can do simple things like cut and paste ( I took my kids out for ice cream and their families on that day…it was a celebration)…I remember the kids saying “That’s good mom!”, and patting me on the head, they think I’m a genius ! Then I actually learned to upload a document and send it as an attachment! The paperclip is a cute icon. I can change the font by highlighting, I can change the color of the document, I can change the margins, I can change the spaces, WORD is my friend. Just the other day I realized I could change a whole document into capitals by highlighting and hitting one key…wooowoooo! On occasion and believe me it is a rare occurrence, I run into someone on my volunteer job that asks me to do something and they think I’m a whiz. I wonder how long I can keep them convinced of that!
Here is the closing thought...
…Because I could go on for days about this subject. I want all of the young people who don’t understand our lack of techno savvy and don’t have the patience to help us through the maze to know this…One day you will age and technological advances will surpass your current knowledge and where will you be. I just want courtesy. Don’t slough me off as some ditz because I don’t understand your technological terms or items you use. We were the computers you now use in your hand, we did calculations in our heads and on paper without machines…we were the dictionaries you look up in your phones…we were the information you so quickly look up in Google, which by the way is sometimes wrong especially in directions...to name a few things. We were respectful of others knowledge. I surround myself with techno smarties like my children, staff like Cheryl, Joshua and others to help me through the maze. I treat them with respect for the savvy they have in technological prowess and they never make me feel like a lesser person. Work with us and we will try to work with you but don’t bully us or disrespect our knowledge because we can’t put it in a power point for you to see…assist us in the process. It will be a better world for us all if we engage in cooperative ventures.
.....Trust me on this!
Yours ever so truly,
G.G Ph.D
