Grandma Geezer Exposed! "The Frenzied Procrastinator"

I used to fly by the seat of my pants in all situations.

I was a procrastinator. I wasn't lazy.
I just took my sweet time doing things because I could get away with it.

Welllllll, that was when I was younger.
Today, at 70, I can't get away with that because I drop the ball on too many other things. Oh and by the way I must keep a calendar of all and I mean all of the things I need to do on a daily basis.

Recently I received a text message from a client.
She said that shed had to cancel her appointment with me because she took an extra shift at the hospital. Now this is an appointment I should have written down the week before, after our session but I was running late to the office and forgot my scheduling book. Why did I forget my scheduling book? You guessed it! I was procrastinating leaving to go to the office and dashed out of the house without my book.

What was I doing you ask? Nothing! Absolutely nothing important.I was just trying to beat my record in solitaire. Now this could have been a very bad situation because I had already scheduled a client at the same time but the cancelation saved my bacon and no one is the wiser - except me. (And now, you.)

I have to admit this has happened more than once to me! For a while I get compelled to set this situation right and for a while I'm good. But I always go back to the same behavior as if I will never get caught. Why am I like this! I always warn clients who engage in this behavior to set it right because it will cause anxiety, stress, fear, depression and other negative situations in their lives – I have experience!

There is a study that indicates that procrastination actually enhances focus. 
I have to agree with that. 
For years I’ve been able to juggle many plates at one time and procrastination has enabled me to gain the focus I need for the task in front of me. However, fear also played a part. As you age your juggling act gets worse and you drop more plates than intended. If I was in school, I could no more do an all-nighter to get a term paper done than I could run a marathon. I can no longer work all day and go out to dinner, getting home after nine, not unless I have nothing to do the next day until one in the afternoon. I can’t push myself.

I bought this stationary pad sometime ago that said;
"I wanted it all! (What was I thinking!”)

Well, I carried that off for quite awhile before being diagnosed with an aggressive cancer

and was given only a few months to live. Obviously, the Lord had different plans for me, and I had an extended rest that was forced on me. However, once I had my energy back I hit the road hard!

But now that it has caught up with me I have to do the following things. I humbly share them with you in hope that you will not  continue as a frenzied procrastinator like I have been!

1. Schedule everything and don’t think you’ll remember someone’s special day – because you won’t if you have a demanding day and something not scheduled gets put on your calendar.


2. Set a realistic time limit for everything or like me you’ll run out the door without something you need for the day. Plan for emergencies. Traffic, road blocks, accidents, car not starting, garage door not opening, dishwasher overflowing as you go up to take a shower, gashing your hand on a broken glass, children throwing up in the car on the way to school, catching your jacket on the car door and slamming it on your finger, running into a cabinet door which knocks you to the floor, slipping on the urine of an animal that wasn’t taken out, bashing your naked toe into the end of a bed and last but not least stepping on something you should have put away the night before and tumbling down the stairs - don’t ask me how I know these things! 

3. Plan your play time accordingly and only after the important tasks are finished.  I have a miniature schedule book I mark with time and place so that I know I have something that day and where I need to be. You smart phone users have a schedule in your phone unless you place the phone on the hood of your car and drive off – don’t ask me how I know that either.


4. Plan your meals and take care of yourself. Manage your time well for your health.
There are many more tips I could give you because of my vast (embarrassing) experiences but they would take up volumes.


So for now, I sign off with a big,  “TRUST ME ON THIS”!


Ever Your Focused – (Not Frenzied) Friend,
Grandma Geezer Ph.D.

"THE BLUEBERRY PERSPECTIVE"

 

TRUST ME ON THIS!

(Grandma Geezer does NOT often open up with this phrase.

However! I feel this is an important issue to understand).

In the big scheme of things, certain issues are what I call trivial. 

In other words, when you position them against the big picture they become irrelevant. Case in point, I share the following personal stories.

I was working as a school psychologist in a room that housed severe behavior disordered children. One of our students had not received his ADHD medicine at home in the morning, unbeknownst to the staff. He also had not received his afternoon dose by the time I had been called down to handle a significant outburst in the classroom. 

Six students had been moved out into the hall for safetyand I went in to get the other student out of the room. I managed to get this small child into a safety hold and get him down to my office when I heard one of the staff let out a startled wail. I had not realized that the child had stabbed me in the leg with the compass I had taken out of his hand. The wound was bleeding profusely all the way down the hall. I placed the student under my desk and sat in front of it. [Interesting how adrenaline can mask pain.] He had plenty of room to wiggle around so I wasn't worried. 

During this event, one of the secretaries ran into the roomand said that my son's principal was on the phone and needed to speak with me. (I had placed my son in a very strict private school with good disciplinary boundaries). Getting myself untangled and to the phone, the principle stated, "Dr. Miskie, I have to suspend your son. This is the third time he's been caught not wearing a belt. If you could come by when you pick up your son we can discuss the consequences of his actions."  

I calmly replied to the principal, "I see. However, I won't be able to meet with you this evening because I've just been stabbed by a student and I'm on my way to the emergency room for a tetanus shot and possibly stitches." As he heard my story and explanation for my unavailability at the moment, he profusely apologized and said, "Don't worry about him, we'll handle this ourselves and I'm so sorry I bothered you.”I went in the next morning and we worked out a discipline for my son and the principal couldn't stop apologizing! 

Another personal experience. I was speaking at a conference for women at a country club and a large breakfast buffet had been set up across the room. There was the usual rush to make everything lovely and the table decorations were first class. I would be speaking on my life's story and the many experiences that I encountered to shape me into the person I am today. When it was time to get our meal, before I spoke, the rumbling started. This was a Christian gathering and I was somewhat surprised at the conversations around me.

"How come our table never gets to go first?" 

"They always serve the same things." 

"Look how much that person has on her plate. 

There won't be any left by the time we get to go!" 

Last but not least, 

"I only got four blueberries because that's all that was left and I didn't want the other fruit."

 Other comments were made before the conference about the room setup, how the establishment was changing, etc., and the list of negatives could go on and on. 

At our table, the comments of disdain continued and I listened until I could take it no longer!I gently but firmly asked if anyone had been to a third world country. No one had, so I began. I recently had traveled to India for a month during Christmas. The hundreds of impoverished women I was honored to speak to, sat on dirt floors with their one daily meal of rice and chicken, eaten off of a large green leaf. As they scooped the meal with their fingers into their mouths, careful not to drop a grain of rice, they listened intently to the word of God that I shared with them. Many accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior and they were hungry to hear more. I could have stayed there for hours. They were so gracious in their reception of me.

Two different countries, two different settings and two different moods in the respective locations.All had come to enjoy the food and listen to the message God had given me. One group was full of anticipation and gratefulness for God's gift of a meal and his presence. The other group was full of discontent and unrest in the lap of luxury — a sad commentary on the expectations and appreciation of one of the groups. At that moment I would have loved to take all of them on my journey to India, all expenses paid — maybe it would change their attitudes to not sweat the small stuff and look at the bigger picture.  

Trust me on this! It would benefit every person reading this to move out of your comfort zone, for one day, to experience a lifestyle different from yours. You might change a journey of life from unrestrained expectations, to grateful acceptance of any situation you encounter. You don't have to physically go to a third world country to move out of your comfort zone because you probably have a place you can observe right around the corner. Go to the poorest neighborhoods in your town, the soup kitchens, homeless shelters, etc., and imagine yourself in the position of these individuals. 

It's a wake up call that can only generate a better person if you truly want to change your level of compassion and understanding.

Ever So Truly Yours,

Grandma Geezer Ph.D.

"True Character Comes Out In An Emergency Situation"

Grandma Geezer had her character tested, when she came face to face with a real life scenario in the form of a blinding blizzard on her way back from a two day speaking engagement. 

Was I going to use the time to call friends and complain angrily about my situation, or sit quietly in the traffic jam and catch up on correspondence?

I was on Interstate 80 between Rawlings and Laramie, Wyoming heading east to Interstate 25. 

We all were traveling slow (40 mph) because of the snow and ice on the road. All of a sudden three cars go past us at well over 70 mph. Not more than twenty minutes later I am at a complete stop with miles of semi's and cars gridlocked ahead and behind me. No cars on westbound lanes.

Hmmmm...it became apparent after sitting in my car and watching highway patrol cars, tow trucks and snow removal equipment going east on the west bound lanes, that something was amiss. Could it be those cars that were speeding caused an accident? Or are they stuck in this traffic jam? I choose the latter thought because of two reasons.

It's a much funnier scenario because I can just imagine them fuming away in their cars at a standstill and they are safe, as well as all the rest of us from their careless driving. If I choose the former thought I will fall into the judging mode which will only fuel my anger to unbelievable levels. Name calling, rants about why were they so stupid to not drive according to the conditions, how many lives they put at risk because of their choices, how none of us will get to our destinations on time and the list goes on.

I was at peace in my car looking at how beautiful the snow appeared. 

Everyone around me was safe in their vehicles. So I prayed that everyone had snacks, water and enough fuel for the hours it took to unravel the messy situation. I also made plans for the evening when this was over - I would stay in Laramie and hope there was a bed somewhere or I'd be stuck at a local truck stop for the evening. Have you ever noticed at times like this how bad you need a bathroom? LOL!

After what seemed hours the traffic moved but we were only allowed off at the Laramie exit. Oh well, I would sleep in and leave around 10:30 am the next morning. I ended up waking with a startle at 7:30 am and decided to leave. The fog was thick and I ended up following a truck with yellow flashing lights. You literally could see five feet ahead of you so the flashing lights were a blessing. I turned mine on as well.

Here we were chugging along at a healthy 35 mph on a wet slick road not knowing what was ahead of us 

–while in the left lane people were passing us at twice that speed. REALLY FOLKS, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! I reach the state line and things clear up considerably but it is snowing hard. I turn on the radio to hear of another accident on the same road right behind me. More semi-trucks and cars all bungled up together. I shake my head and pray that no one is badly hurt.

Choose carefully how you will respond in a crisis. 

Grandma Geezer knows as a psychologist that anger only fuels stress which is a killer to your immune system. Trust me on this!

I reached home very tired and ready to hit the bed! I stayed there for two days and relaxed, ate my favorite foods and zoned out on recorded television. Bliss! 

Yours Truly Through Sun or Storms,

Grandma Geezer Ph.D.

"THE WORK OF PARENTING PAYS OFF" - REALLY!

By Sandra Miskie 

aka: "Grandma Geezer" Ph.d

My youngest son called me the other day...

...And said he needed to apologize. 

For the life of me I couldn't think of what he had done that would require such a phone call. He was the child that took the most energy and kept me hopping. Probably why I stayed more physically active until he got married. 

Every day was questionable.  A call from the school or college, a drive to the emergency room or doctor, a visit from the police to bring him home at four years of age when he ran away, a visit to the fire department -  and I could go on.

But!  One day really stands out. 

The day the principal from his private school called and had to talk to me immediately. 

He was not one for following rules especially the ones from the Christian school he was attending. 

All the boys had to wear belts and tuck in their shirts. He did not like to wear belts nor did he tuck in his shirt and I was about ready to find out why. Of course this call came on a day I had just been stabbed by a student who had not been given his ADHD meds.

Principal: "Dr. Miskie I hate to call you but your son will have to be suspended because this is the third time he was caught not wearing a belt. Can we meet after school?"

Me: "I understand your rules are why I put him there and I want him to follow them. However, meeting after school is not possible because I have just been stabbed in the leg by a student and I am on my way to the emergency room. (There was blood pooling on the floor as we talked.) Can we do this in the morning because this is important." 

Principal: Oh, no! I am so sorry. Never mind we can keep him in school.

Me: I will see you tomorrow morning. 

Needless to say, the stabbing incident put everything into a different perspective 

and the principal wanted to drop the whole thing...but I wouldn't let him. My son needed discipline and he needed to follow instructions. He would never hold a job or make anything of himself without it.

TRUST ME ON THIS. 

The hours I put into this child were well worth it. 

Back to why my son called me. 

"Mom! Please forgive me for not appreciating all the things you did for me!" 

I started to cry. 

What brought this all about I asked? He said,"Remember my car wreck yesterday? Well today I am not feeling well and the boys are wanting me to pick up their friends after I worked all day and take them to youth group in this blizzard! They can't understand why I said no and told them if they want to come, they can walk over to the house." 

I could tell he had lost it. I couldn't help but roar with laughter and said, "Welcome to real parenting!" 

He went on to reiterate all the times I put up with his friends in the house and occasionally lost my temper. Now he understood compleeeeeeetely!

I have to tell you - it felt good to hear his understanding.

Again I repeat... 
...TRUST ME ON THIS! 

Nothing is more rewarding than seeing my son do well in his career and I really have forgotten all the hurt. I love watching him be with his children and work on being a good husband. I especially love the humor he continues to bring to the family...we still never know what will happen with his antics. 

Put in the work of parenting because it pays off.

Smiling Ear to Ear,

Grandma Geezer Ph.d

"The Psychologist Who Cuts Twine" - A Lesson in Humility

By Sandra Miskie 

(aka: Grandma Geezer PhD.)

As a semi-retired person I am working more hours than I did when I was not retired. Who knew that would happen?  Perhaps I should have consulted my older colleagues who experienced this. Interestingly, they as a group have entered into different lifestyles and new careers! For the longest time, I didn't understand why highly educated people would open restaurants, become botanical gurus and such - working with their hands and not their minds.

It's hard to admit I was totally wrong in my thinking. That's the problem - I was thinking! I have found that I want more out of life than mind-bending work as a psychologist or consultant.



If you have never volunteered and you're retired you need to give it a try. 
Oh, my gosh! It is incredibly worthwhile to be placed in a position that does not require your constant expertise. Who knew? ( ! ) I'm learning all kinds of new things!   

I long ago got over the fact that two doctoral programs made me smart - at the most all it did was make me realize, that I don't really know that much. It did however give me an ability to examine situations outside the box and come up with unique problem solving ideas. Hence the lesson about Twine and Humility. TRUST ME ON THIS

One day on my volunteer shift as a receptionist I had a young man come up to me with a request. I was to take six cards, 5"x3", with holes on top and put a thin piece of twine through the holes and tie it. Easy I thought to myself and started laughing about the fact that with all my education this is what I'm relegated to. Well...the job was tedious and I was slow. When the young man came up to check on me, he didn't have to say a word - his face said it all.

"Show me how you're doing this." He was so kind as I went through my method.
"Hmmm..." , he said."How about if you pull the twine through, put a pen in the hole and wrapped the twine around it...then pulled the twine out like this." Well, since the young man is probably thirty years my junior I was feeling pretty dumb. (I can see that grin on your face...knock it off.) After a number of thank yous he left grinning.

I have to tell you I quadrupled my production and finished the project in a very short time.

I have learned now that when he brings me a project, I ask how he would do it and then I go forward. These youngsters are smart and I don't give them enough credit. I certainly learned my lesson!

The age-old adage " You can't teach an old dog new tricks" is totally not true!

If you want to keeping growing in life at any age, be humble enough to either ask for help when you don't understand a newfangled "something" and keep your heart in a receiving mode at all times!

Bye for now my friends! You are forever "en-twined" in my heart! 

Your Wacky Advisor,

Grandma Geezer PhD.

“There’s an Elephant in the Room”

Have you ever been in a situation where everyone knows what’s going on but no one says a word. These situations make me crazeeeeeeee!!!!! 

However, unlike the little guy who shouted out, “The king isn’t wearing any clothes!” and TRUST ME ON THIS, sometimes it is just better to keep quiet. 

I know not everyone will agree with me on this, 

But it is necessary if you are new to a situation.

Often times someone is allowed to carry on their behavior with the understanding that it is tolerable because of who they are. I am in a weekly situation that many people find offensive but to bring it to the person’s attention will not change it and might bring about a major emotional crisis that could be devastating. The person is in their 80’s, has been a volunteer for many years and has a home bound spouse that he takes care of. This is his only outlet to serve in an important capacity outside the home and so his behavior is endured by the staff – we work around it.

I would agree in other situations where someone’s behavior has a major impact on the environment, then, to keep quiet might not be in the interest of all concerned. But and I say this with a big “CAUTION” for your own good. Search out the reasons for everyone’s lack of movement in the circumstance before commenting on it. I remember being in another situation where an administrator’s caustic behavior was being tolerated and I recall thinking, why would anyone put up with this bully. I was new on the job, just a few weeks. I wasn’t privy to the fact that he had recently been under treatment for a brain tumor and the radiation along with chemotherapy had radically changed his behavior.

I’m just saying weigh the situation and its consequences carefully before stating an opinion on the circumstances. You have not walked a mile in another person’s moccasins and until you do don’t make emotionally charged decisions to alter a situation without the facts. The tongue is a mighty weapon and in the hands of the wrong information it can change your circumstances for the worst in many instances.

By Sandra Miskie - Better known as Grandma Geezer Ph.D

"The 'STOP' Button

By Sandra Miskie 

(aka: Grandma Geezer Ph.D)

Grandma Geezer lost it this week. 

It’s been trying working through all the little things a house fire includes. Without going into a lot of explanation I will just say this, having trusting friends around is beyond good. I have one long-time friend who is not afraid to push the stop button. I call her and I can immediately feel her finger in the middle of my chest pushing the off switch and reason abounds.

I felt I had a good grip on things as I worked through my Plan. 

 A,B,C,D,etc. and all the money issues involved in this fire event were handled. Then I got a call from the dentist with the bad news that the swelling in my mouth was actually a severe infection caused by a fractured tooth. It will cost a mere $2000 to have it removed and put in a bridge. Where was that money going to come from?

By this time I am exhausted with life. 

I go into hiding and thank goodness so does everyone else because of the two day snowstorm. But as I go into hibernation mode the issue of finances starts to rattle me and I can feel the anxiety rising. I get into panic mode because the what if’s of life start to play havoc with my thought processes.

TRUST ME ON THIS… avoid at all cost the fear/anger cycle. 

There isn’t anything that can’t be worked out. One step at a time. When I get this way I purposely call one or two people that I know can identify with my situation and not give me platitudes. My thought processes are muddled but theirs are not. Have you thought about this or that and what about the conversation we just had two days ago.

I take a deep breath. 

Gales of laughter ensue and I send her a picture the next day from my phone with a big gaping mouth to show her what the dentist completed. I sleep like a baby and the next day I wake up refreshed. I didn’t take in 5000 empty chocolate ice cream calories, I practiced for my upcoming concert, I emptied 25 more boxes and put together three pieces of furniture.

I steered clear of the fear/anger cycle and got back on track. 

Good friends, excellent advice and in actuality the crisis of $2000 was not anywhere near the catastrophe I had anticipated. It was just a matter of negotiating a payment plan with my credit union. I admit I’m tired which means my common sense is affected.

Stop, listen, plan and don’t panic. Words to the wise this month.

Ever thankful,

Grandma Geezer Ph.D